I don’t really know when and what verifiable action or milestone one must have to cross the threshold of being a “tito/tita” Is it age? While we are on that, can we put a definition as what a “tita” really is? There are times that I feel like a “tita” – yung tipong mas bet ko na lang ang nasa bahay, naka pajama or naka daster (all day long, parang uniform) at mag sulsi, magtahi or mag ganchilyo. I no have that immense feeling of relief when I realize that I have one day free for myself to do exactly that. When I go shopping now, I tend to look at household items rather than clothes or shoes! Case in point, travel buddy says that he wants to treat me and give me a really nice present for Valentine’s and what did I say? Ooooh! Let’s go and buy some really cool kitchen knives or lots of yarn!
Yarn. For Valentine’s. When I was given pretty much free reign of getting ANYTHING I wanted. I wanted fucking yarn. Even travel buddy, who has the emotional depth of a taco, looked at me like I sprouted another tentacle…I mean, head.
Thus, I thought that I have now become a fucking tita. Officially. Then I had to wonder if this realization bothers me or offends me. That’s another thing: why are we so fucking offended with getting old? Aging is a privilege not allowed to everyone. So, I am not offended that I am getting old. I guess I like being a tita. What I don’t like is how people expect you to be when you reach a certain age.
I’m 41 years old. I have a kids who are tw/eenagers. I also have a very unconventional haircut with matching bleached hair. I also have tattoos. I also like knitting and crocheting. There you go – a number of items that are supposed to be ill-matched. There is nothing about me that is “normal”
What is normal anyway? Normal is an ideal, I’ve been told. The point is, there is no such thing as what you should and shouldn’t be. One should not conform to what is “supposed” to be. I’m a 41 year old who loves running around chasing seagulls and doing stupid poses with statues. I have kids that I’m trying to parent – and if someone tells me that I am raising my children incorrectly, I will slap you in the face with a wet dog diaper.
Be who you want to be. Act the way you want to act. Steal that shit from the doctors when they make their oath “Do no harm”. Having weird colored hair with tattoos while trying to discipline a 2 month old puppy and eleven year old twins is perfectly okay! Being a single mom that supports your son’s passion and dream to be a Vegas showgirl is also okay. What’s not okay is to start judging people just because they don’t fit into your box and definition of what normal is. Worse is if you try to teach that fucked up shit to your kids or to other people.
It took me a while but I finally get what JM wrote to me almost two decades ago. He said “Never listen to the critics, you are larger than life”.
Never listen to the critics. You are larger than life.