As I get older, I get a really strong feeling, that I am certifiably insane. I start to wonder if I am the only one who does these things or if anyone else does it but doesn’t really say anything about it for fear of being institutionalized.
For example: I was wearing a rather flimsy dress and was walking to the mall. My bag was making the dress ride up so I kept on pulling it every two seconds. A voice in my head then screams at me and says “Hoi! Stop pulling on your dress! Eh ano kung makita nila panty mo? La Senza naman yan!” Then another voice piped in and said “‘teh, di naman mababasa ang etiketa kung La Senza yan. Tsaka hello? Dapat mas concerned ka sa cellulite at stretch marks mo na makikita!” To which my own voice said “Harsh mo, bes.”
See?! An entire conversation done in the span of 5.8 seconds with just myself. Fuck. If that isn’t lunacy, I don’t know what is.
But then, I get on tumblr – which is both a beautiful and disgusting place to traverse – and I see and read posts that I can fully relate to! Like, it can’t be said any better and more truthful than if I were the one who wrote them. So, okay. Great. I am not the only one that goes through this. Then… I start thinking about how old these people who write these posts are. Then i start questioning myself again: Am I too old for this shit? Isn’t this something that only teenagers and 20 somethings go through?
So, I asked my friends if this was something that they go through as well, and almost immediately, the bitchy voice in my head pipes in and says “Bitch, really? We already know that you’re crazy. You don’t need validation from anyone else.” I frowned and told the bitch to shut up.
Gladly and thankfully, this is not isolated in my head. A lot of other people go through it. So, yay. I’m not THAT crazy.