First Move

People have this incorrect notion that the first time you do something abject is the first step down the slope. This cannot be anything but far from the truth.

The truth is, the first time you do it is and will always be considered a fluke – a mistake. It’s a miscalculation, a lapse in judgement, a moment of weakness (or displaced courage) – shameful, needy, weak and regrettably unforgettable.

The third time you do it, it’s a habit – a constance, a behaviour, an addiction, a craving. A sin. The second time you do it, bridges the expanse and the infinitesimal gap. The second time has intent. It’s premeditated. It’s planned and thought through. It has bravery. It has a First Move.

Another mistake most people make is that they believe that second impressions hold more weight than the first. They claim that second impressions are the honest personas of the individual. Just because she’ll slip a finger up your ass while she’s blowing you; begs you to spank her then wanders around in her pink frilly underwear and her teacher glasses doesn’t mean it’s hypocritical. There’s nothing incongruous about it, not necessarily. Her sexual appetite should not make you think she’s less intelligent or worthy or good. She’s good, a real good girl who takes what you give her. Wasn’t that what you said while you had her bent over your desk, pounding into her, taking her from behind? (Girl…good girl… take it like that…yeah)

The only impression that seemed to matter then were of your teeth on her skin.

So… There you are, planning your First Move to make a second impression, figuring out the variables because you despise the fucking variables as much as she does, while nursing a beer. You’re trying to ignore the smell of cigarette smoke that seems to linger on your skin like the guilt and fear in your kisses. You are not going to make a mistake.

But here’s another mistake people make: They assume a lot of things, including the part where you assume she’s going to be cooperative; the part where you think she belongs to you.

She’ll never being to anyone, not until she says so. You don’t own her, she owns you.

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